Colliding Galaxies

It’s been over two years since I first gushed in ‘Crush before Kiss’.   I’ve been trying since to create a novelization of it, but I’ll admit- it was pretty poorly written, so it’s taking a lot of work!   Despite that, I still love the process and going back to my life in 2009.  It’s an incredible learning tool, as some say, “The child is father to the man.”  I hope as I age, I remember the things that could be accused as being ‘naïve’.    *Remember, the goal’s to avoid becoming a disappointed and bitter romantic.   

Now, I'm working through other things.  We've been bickering a lot lately.   (Or what seems like bickering.)  Our friend B. said her husband and her fought like cats and dogs for seven years at the beginning of their marriage. Marriage is colliding galaxies.  For me, it's periods of pushing and pulling, falling above and below one another, merging.  Being self-absorbed is no longer an option, it’s about learning how to surrender and trust.  In CBK, I had to get over being commitment phobic.  Today, the love I share with C. is about maintaining everything we’ve established.  It sounds easy, but this is what breaks people.  It means never letting off. (See: dieting, exercising, gardening, etc.)   The stars in our galaxies seem to be made from the most reflective material in the universe.  I find the closer he gets to me, the more I feel every bit of his happiness, disappointment, discovery, everything and how I react affects him deeply.

It seems there’s a lot to work against forces of defensiveness,  insecurity, and pride, but it’d be foolish to say it’d didn’t come from within ourselves. So, this maintaining's neverending, however completely worth it. 

Actually, it’s the only worth there is.